Ancestor veneration is not an isolated practice or a special ritual we start and stop by lighting a candle and saying a few prayers. It is not tied to a specific season, month or reclaimed pagan holiday. It is a lifestyle we maintain, an invitation for our ancestors to come forth and take an active role in our lives. We respect, honor and care for them at all times and they in turn protect, teach and guide us.
The Ancestral Shrine
Nearly every tradition requires that there be an established place for leaving offerings and communing with the ancestors. The details will depend greatly on one’s tradition and available resources. A simple shelf, table, dresser or even a corner on the floor will do fine. It just needs to be a dedicated space set aside for the sole purpose of honoring the dead. Needless to say, it should be thoroughly cleaned and consecrated as sacred space.
At very least we need a tablecloth, a candle, a glass of water and a bowl to leave offerings. Generally we use white candles and a white tablecloth. Pictures of deceased relatives, idols of saints or deities, and other decorative symbolic elements that link to one’s ancestors or religious beliefs are common additions to the altar or shrine. These are a matter of preference and tradition, but there are three key elements to remember: 1) a place for fire, 2) a place for water, and 3) a place for offerings.
My family has always used white votives and the glass encased seven-day candles. Occasionally, during the holidays, my grandmother would light those vigil novena candles with the portraits of saints. In my practice I use three candles. Two white small tea lights for ambient light and a white seven-day candle for the spirits. I recommend getting an additional glass bowl and filling it partially with water and then placing the seven-day candle inside. This is not *just* a safety measure for leaving the candle burning while away, but the union of fire and water produces a very pleasant and powerful energy that is attractive to the spirits.
Fresh water must always be available for the ancestors. Again depending on tradition, there are variances in the ideal number of glasses and sources for the water. Some claim a minimum number such as three, seven or nine, while others insist on having one glass for each ancestor honored at the shrine.
Any bowl or plate will work as a place to leave offerings. It should be clean and once dedicated to the ancestors only used for them. As a child I learned that anything that goes onto the ancestral shrine is consecrated to the dead, so understandably I don’t mix my offering bowls with my kitchenware.
Speaking to the Ancestors
Once we have an established location to honor the ancestors, we need to start speaking to them and invite them to come forth. We speak to them as we would a homebound elder. Tell them of the world around us, the weather, the date, the happenings of other family members. If we just talk and bring them into our world, they will listen and eventually bring us into theirs. At first this might seem odd or difficult, and if one is having trouble speaking verbally – to quote the late Peter Paddon – “just sit there and let the genetic material do the talking.” Eventually, they will talk back.
The key is to make ourselves open and accessible to the ancestors. To let them know that we want them in our lives and to invite them to visit us in visions and dreams. And always, we should be sure to thank them for all they have given us. After all, we have the opportunity to experience life because of them and the path they have forged upon this earth.
Making Offerings
Daily or weekly offerings nourish and empower the ancestors. A simple rule is that the more we interact and work with them (i.e. asking for help or guidance), the more we should provide for them. The best offerings will be those that they enjoyed while living or that the spirits ask for themselves.
Depending on who we ask or what we read there are numerous rules regarding what is acceptable and what is not. I find that there is a lot of conflicting information, but generally speaking I go with my gut. It is easy to tell if an offering has been accepted. Anything that rots or spoils was not accepted, simple as that. I offer whatever I feel my ancestors would enjoy. The only ‘rule’ I follow is avoiding foods with high salt content. I use salt to banish and keep spirits out, so it doesn’t make sense to feed salty foods to those spirits I want to invite in.
Daily Ritual
We should honor the ancestors daily. This forges and strengthens our connection to the dead and establishes a continuity between us and them. Even if it is just a few minutes before work or prior to running errands or before going to bed.
Every morning I sit at my ancestral shine and while lighting the white candle say:
I light this candle in honor of my ancestors, those of my blood and those of my spirit. May its light be their light; and may their light continue to guide me.
Sometimes we speak, but most of the time just the comfort of enjoying a moment of silence surrounded by my beloved dead is an ideal start to the day. If I need to put out the candle, I say:
Even as this flame is extinguished, may the fire of Spirit continue to burn brightly, and may the light of the ancestors remain within me.
Of course I will embark on more involved rituals and prayers over the course of the week, but this short and simple rite maintains the bond day in and day out.
This writing was originally published 13 August 2015 on the Voces-Magicae website